…..and then, there was light. It was faint at first but it quickly got brighter, and it wasn’t like any light I had ever seen. It was glowing, yellow gold, and it seemed to have life to it, in a way that things do when you look at them under a microscope. There were flickers inside it, motion. Then I could see individual silhouettes, so I started to think that this was something that I could relate to instead of just light.
I still felt like myself and that surprised me. I had thought of people who had died as people that I couldn’t really relate to anymore. I didn’t imagine myself to be the exact same person dead that I had been while I was alive.
There were lots of different silhouettes, leading me to think that there were lots of “people” standing in front of me. At this point, I was starting to think about things, and I received answers to them. Not audibly, but through some kind of transfer of thoughts and feelings. It was a really comfortable and surprising feeling. Much like when you say something to an animal, or to a baby, that they shouldn’t understand and they actually do. You can see their recognition, even though it can’t be verbally expressed.
Hundreds of the silhouettes were “talking” to me. I understood all of their “words” as though I were talking only to one person. And I could somehow discern what each particular one was saying. I understood all of it as well as if it were a one on one conversation.
Which led to a lot of information, a lot of information, being shared.
More on that later.
Afterwards, the light stood behind me, and we could see my life in front of us. Different times and instances, other people and how we had interacted. And I remember and feel the following as though it happened only a moment ago:
I started to turn around to face them, to give them more of an explanation of a particular moment that we had just seen. Before I had completed the motion, they sent to me the thought and feeling that they were me. That not only did they understand the situation from my point of view, they felt the same way that I had felt when that particular event had taken place.
They were capable of feeling exactly as I felt, and yet had more, and it did not take away from how much they were able to be with me. It was a complete acknowledgment of me, from my perspective, felt as I felt it. We are WITH you, not observing you, but with you, feeling everything exactly as you feel it. Since they were doing this completely with me, I in turn was able to be completely with them, with their knowledge and view. Since they were the same as me, well I also got to be the same as them.
The impact this had and the view that it gave me!
I had several small strokes and they explained (this is the brief version) that my brain had thought in certain ways and now those ways were blocked by the strokes. I wouldn’t be able to think in those negative ways again unless I really tried to. I had a new vehicle with which to see things. A reconstructed brain.
This made me committed to not add anything of here that would take me far from there.
They showed me how the events in my life had specifically affected me. This caused me to want to be ok with EVERYTHING. To forgive everyone and anyone. To know that there’s nothing to forgive.
I didn’t want to leave there. I died and was revived several times over the course of several days. I had an awareness of what was going on physically (on earth) while I was having all of this death adventure, and maybe, according to the physical world of things, I would go too far (or was there for too long?) and I would die and they would resuscitate me. And right when they “got me back” I would then be fully present here and not really there. So I would focus out again and go back.
They then showed me some things that would happen or not occur, if didn’t go back, letting me know that I could stay there if I wanted to. As you know, I decided to come back. They brought me back to my body, to the room in the ICU, gave me some explanations of the people around me and what it would be like over time, and then……
I woke up.
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4 comments:
October 18th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
mmmmmmm. that is so warm. i love to put your words over my life and experiences. as if it happened to me and to know that they feel what i feel in my life…that they are me and my circumstances. what you are doing is such a good thing. you will help and already have helped the world, lovely lady.
October 18th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
as i read and re read these perfectly placed words i have been staying with the idea of acknowledgement, to have that permanent feeling of kinship, deep unwaivering, that would carry me, and it has with you, but it seems so rare, i mean i love the wide and erratic human behaviors that i also love to complain about, and would that richness be diluted if i could feel at the end we were the same, no, it would give rise to a freedom i have yet to only imagine. real real.
October 18th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Incredible Erin! You had experiences that hardly any of us will. It’s amazing.
As I read everything you wrote I can’t help but wonder how all of this has changed or affected your life?
November 3rd, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I have no idea how I came across your site… so glad I did. It’s fascinating. I believe you. My father had a serious, debilitating stroke this summer, the same day my sister had a baby. He said his mother was with him, that he had a choice to stay or go. He had to fight to stay. He tells only me this stuff because I’ve always been the ‘mystical, flighty’ one of the family. He grabbed my knee and told me, “Heaven is beautiful” It’s not that he had visions, just intense feelings and sensations. I have so many questions… Is there really free will? Are we all just part of a gigantic puzzle? I have faith it will all make sense in the end, is that foolish thinking? I feel my gone relatives around me at specific times… according to your experience, am I really ‘feeling’ them? Do I just wish it was true so it’s like believing in Santa Claus? Please write more. What does your family think? What were they ‘doing’ when you visited them? I could go on and on, but I won’t. :) Thank you for sharing
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